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Jason Holliston
 
Friday, May 28, 2004  
Ultimate War Sim Game

People that know me know that I love Microsoft's game Age of Empires. It's getting old, but once in a while, I'll fire it up, assume the persona of the leader of a British king, and kill me some peasants. It's a great diversion. Well, for some people it's enough -- they need something a little more in sync with reality. David Wong is one of those guys. He writes a hilarious wish list for the perfect war sim:

I want that "Public Support" meter to rise and fall according to Troops Lost, Length of Conflict, Innocents Killed and Whether or Not There is Anything Else On TV That Week. I want to lose 200 Public Support points because, in a war where 8,000 units have been lost, one of my Mutalisks happened to be caught on video accidentally eating one clergyman. Then, later, my destruction of an entire enemy city goes unnoticed because the Nude Zero-Gravity Futureball championship went into overtime.

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